I'm listening to music right now...but I don't want to listen to music because its over-stimulating. However, when I turn it off I feel empty and under-stimulated and I have to hear something. I'm so confused by this. Maybe its the fact that its about time I went into one of my depression periods again. It comes with the bipolar. I'll have a few weeks of awesomeness then a few weeks of not so awesomeness. I'm so confused my myself that sometimes its hard to even know what's real or not for my brain. My clinical lycanthropy has become more and more of a pillow cushion this last depression rut and I'm afraid I may become dependent on it in this one. I'm just a broken girl that can't really depend on the people around me. Its not their fault. Its mine. I'm actually pretty chill on the outside. But you know how that is.
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