Suspicious much? 8/31/2012

We visited my new school which starts on Tuesday today. Saw some twigs and jocks which I automatically wanted to throw up on. I must have been making a terrible face because my parents were worried. I hate prissy people. They make me sick because not everyone can be "perfect" like them. They're like a scourge on the planet. All selfish people can burn. Selfishness only causes pain. It only destroys. I find this world and all humans to be pathetic. In other news, I find I cannot take a good picture of myself as my head always seems too small for my body.

In other other news, I just realized I have over 600 views on my blog! Thanks for reading my rants and raves and for seeing me at my best and my worst! I thank everyone who reads. Have a wonderful evening.

Back! Still Tired... 8/30/2012

Well, I'm back from the anime con and I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed myself. My only complaint was that it was too short...Three days and I still wanted to stay longer, see more, and meet more amazing people. I secretly hoped I would meet someone to be good friends and maybe...have a relationship with but no luck. Maybe I'm just too optimistic about my romantic life. I recently stooped to a new low of loneliness. I googled free and good visual novels. I've never dated in real life before and...its depressing. I know I'm not the prettiest girl in the world but I have such a kind personality...I wish my crush would ask me out already...I'M FALLING INTO MY DEPRESSIONS AGAIN!

School starts for me on the fourth since the school is still being BUILT. I know, right? Awesome! But we have to stay in school longer so its a double edged sword on the topic. I have to admit, though, the schools concept is an interesting one and I'm waiting to see how everything plays out. It makes you think "Where's the catch to this?" its so amazing. Anyways, I'm tired. Being up since 3 AM doesn't do anybody any good. I still have so much to do!

Oh CRAP 8/23/2012

Well, I am in official PANIC MODE. The charger for my camera's ONLY BATTERY is MIA and I leave at 9:30 tomorrow and I'm not even packed up yet...WHY DO I PROCRASTINATE?! Well...it's just me.

Watched the end of Dr.Who season 1 (the one with the 9th and 10th Doctors) and CRIED. I cried...so much...I left a soggy spot on the cosplay I was carefully hand-stitching in my lap. No spoilers but I will say...I did enjoy the company of the ninth Doctor but the tenth is...really good looking. I am a doctor fan. Time is his gig and he should pursue that with all his heart. Anti-Dalek, right here.

I'll be GONE! 8/22/2012

If you haven't been keeping up with my blogs I will be absent and therefore unable to post from the 24th through the 26th and may miss a day or two after. Just saying! Anime Con to attend and I an TOTALLY EXCITED! I also need to finish a few of these art trades before I go but FORGET IT! YEAH! Finishing my cosplay tonight (procrastinating for the win) and am so physicked for this.

It Exists?! YEAH! 8/21/2012

If you've ever watched Wolfs Rain you know what a Lunar Flower is quite well. You will be ultimately surprised to find out that this flower actually does exist! It is called a "Brahma Kamal" and the flower blooms only at night for one time in its entire life before it dies in the morning after blooming. It is a rare jem which is mostly found in Indian countries. I would KILL for one of these flowers. I wouldn't even care if it died so quickly. It would be...symbolic...

My OWN SPACE 8/20/2012

AM I NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE MY OWN FLIPPIN' SPACE?! My room is NOT a complete disaster but my OCD mom says it always is. It's fine. I like my space. It is my world. It is where I can feel slightly safe in a disgusting world. When things go bad, I go to my room for safety and reassurance. But when it's not my room? I can't feel safe anywhere. Stop controlling my room. STOP CONTROLLING MY SPACE. This is my DEN and my SAFE PLACE. You can't consume everything in the house in your tornado of goodness and cleanliness. It's just not me. IT'S NOT ME.

Nevertheless I cleaned it anyways to keep her mostly quiet. But then, I finish and she looks in and says..."Now you can sweep it." WHAT?! I guess the perfect world version of her would give me a compliment or tell me good job you're done for the day. Remember, I said perfect world. It wasn't even that bad to begin with...

-UPDATE- 8/19/2012

I just talked to the abused friend's step-sister who is a truly amazing person. She says he's injured from being beaten again but she got a job to pay for his surgeries and has substantial evidence to help him. I am talking to her now, exchanging information and giving each other support. She truly is a guardian for this amazing boy.

News, news, news! 8/19/2012

On a positive note to start out with, my cosplay is looking amazing. I screwed up on the pants a bit but if I'm wearing them the mistake shouldn't show up too much. I'm taking a baby repair kits juuust in case something happens since 90% of the sewing is hand done. As frustrating as it would be for a seam to rip or something to that extent, I have to be prepared because with me, anything is possible. I just picture myself putting the pants on and the seams tearing all the way up. Unlikely but...that scares me. Whatever. With the con only 5 DAYS AWAY I have no room for worries. I'll just be spending time with my friends who mean the world to me. I can't let anything hold me back. I wish I was this way behind the wheel...

On a scarier note I haven't heard from my abused friend in a few days. He hasn't been online at all and I'm starting to worry more and more. Any advice...? Please? I don't know what to do anymore. Heck, I'm tired and am not feeling well. My throat was sore this morning. I hope its nothing serious.

Took this stunning photo at my local zoo when the red panda just ran up to the glass and I was right there to get awesome photos.

Things are Crazy 8/16/2012

There are so many natural disasters and shootings its like the whole world is falling to pieces. Maybe this whole religion thing is right. Man, this has me completely scared. Well, whatever happens, I have to change my actions. I don't know how I will but...I have to. I haven't been in contact with the friend who needs the serious help. I'm starting to worry. What's going on...?

Come on Guys... 8/15/2012

Today was almost fine. I got the pants for my Hige cosplay for the con I'm going to lower in my state. Now all i need to do is finish the modifications on the sweater and get the shoes and then it'll be done. In the nick of time, I'm hoping. I have to hand stitch the sleeve-stripes on and I'm going to attempt to get the pants' stripes on with the machine but I don't know if I'll be able to. THANK GOODNESS FOR SCRUBS! Yes I'm using scrub pants for the cosplay. Resourcefulness for the win.

In other news my parents are quite angry at each other for no apparent reason. It started over shirts (or so I heard). Look guys, this sharp comments and ignoring one another is really getting old. Are you REALLY gonna do this every three days? Seems like it nowadays. Have fun with whatever you both think you're accomplishing...

Telling Someone 8/14/2012

Right now as we speak I am telling and chatting with someone from an abuse hotline for my friend. I don't know what to do. I have to help him though. PLEASE pray for him. He needs help to get away from the hell he lives in now. If you know someone who is abused...TELL SOMEONE. Even if they can't contact someone, you can. Please help them, they may not be there tomorrow.

Try these...

http://www.rainn.org/

Online Hotline

TONS OF HOTLINES

Queen of Nostalgia 8/13/2012

Right now, I just finished The Power Puff Girl movie and am now debating whether to watch Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends or the old James and the Giant Peach. Ah memories. Probably gonna watch some Watership Down tonight. I'm realizing that the queality of decent animation has gone down the crapper. I'm serious. Where are the movies like Watership down and Plague Dogs?! Poor movie industry. I pity you. I mean of course there is good comedy shows like Adventure Time but even that is getting old. For once, I wish animation would go back in time for quality.

Pray for him 8/12/2012

Today my mom got me up at 11 to go to my religious meeting. After more than 24 hours of teachings in a matter of three days total, I'm fried. Really, I am. Not saying I regret going or don't believe what I am taught but...it's just a bit much for me right now.

Convincing my friend to call the police because he has dirtbag parent and her boyfriend that do everything imaginable to him has proven difficult as me and his girlfriend live nowhere near him and are unable to help him better. It's altogether disappointing but I'm doing my best. It's his own good and now...his life hangs in the balance. I won't let him die. I will not let it happen. But...it may. He now has a serious condition due to that dirt-bag mother's boyfriend.
 Keep him in your prayers. It may be his last hope.

Never did I Think I would... 8/11/2012

Never did I think I would have a blog. Seriously, guys. I have always kept everything to myself. Even my friend's secrets...WOW, ITS WEIRD. I sigh at the thought of blogging every night. It's becoming a relaxing habit, ok? Posting semi-regularly with a picture as a cherry on top. Life...is...GOOD. For this night, I'm feeling generous and giving you two funny pictures.

Disappointing...? Slightly 8/10/2012

Today was the panel I wanted to do for my stories. I wrote three chapters in one night just for it and...only two people logged on...and one I knew and one I told to come on. DOES NOBODY CARE ANYMORE? Man, so much for Author Appreciation. Whatever. I'll have to plan ahead more next time I think. Maybe do more interviews to get the word out about my stories.
A slightly infuriating bit of news. My tablet decided to go berserk today and isn't working now. I even took the pen apart to tinker with it with no visible results. No big deal. I'll just contact customer support while my trades go rusty. GAH! I need to lighten up.
In other news I got a BookCrossing today. YAY! I've been wanting one for ages. Like, many ages. Planning to release some at the religious convention tomorrow. It seems like I have a lot of these right? Wrong~! We went Friday and Sunday last week but missed Saturday so we're making it up this week. Yeah, yeah. Well, I better be going.

CREEPY RIGHT?! AND ITS REAL.

LITERALLY...NOTHING 8/9/2012

Nothing happened today...My mom is sick and can't do much and I sat around and did nothing but play Minecraft and clean the kitchen. Maybe a little Oregon Trail in between. Died twice...STUPID COUGAR MAULING x2. Whatever I guess. Livestreaming to my story fans tomorrow to answer questions and such. And...that's it...

OH! and THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR 500 VIEWS ON MY BLOG!

Here, have a Minecraft screenshot.

I Passed and was ACCEPTED! 8/8/2012

Today I got two bits of good news and found out one scary thing...

FIRST GOOD NEWS! I finally got the Accepted stamp on my application to the semi-online school! Turns out some bozo left my info in a box and it could have been accepted weeks ago. Humans at their BEST! BUT! Whatever. I digress.

GOOD NEWS TWO! I passed my Driver's Ed Test. You needed 75% to pass and I got 84%. Yay me, Even though I would have rather failed it and never driven again for the rest of my life...again, I digress.

SCARY NEWS! A year ago this August 29th I had to go to the hospital for SEVERE stomach pains. They did every test under the sun but only after they had done a CAT Scan did they see it was a pound and a half tera toma tumor attached to one of my ovaries. They had to do emergency surgery to remove it and thats where the scary part comes in. At that stage I had a 40-50% chance of survival. DAYUM.....(and I don't usually swear...)

I took this picture...IT WAS SO FREAKY...HE JUST STOPPED AND TURNED LIKE...CREEPINESS.....

DO NOT WANT 8/7/2012

Tomorrow I take my drivers test (which I will pass) and have to schedule my in-cars. PLEASE let the schedules of the instructors be filled until two years from now. I don't want to drive on the freeway, I don't want to drive at night, I don't want to drive. I'me freakin' scared to death here. I don't even KNOW WHY! I need serious help. What if something happens...? I'll never forgive myself. I'll become my own Tobari Kumohira. He never drove. HE WALKED FROM IRELAND TO JAPAN. DOES NOT COMPUTE BUT I WILL. I hate cars now...they flip me out.

DARCIA, YOU BOSS

I...Hate...Driving 8/6/2012

I don't want to drive. I don't want to drive. I don't want to DRIVE. I DON'T WANT TO DRIVE. Are my wishes obvious now? I'm so scared. I hate that I'm so freaked out. It's been my top stresses for a WHILE now. Look, that's all I want to say today. Carry on with your business. OH! Maybe I forgot to mention a person I hardly know has super-dumped stuff on me...Oh, nothing big. Just...that his foster mother's boyfriend is a piece of garbage and is causing the kid to draw close to destruction. YEAH, NOTHING BIG.  I don't know what to do.........

This is how I feel........

Fate Sucks and so does DRIVING 8/5/2012

I REALLY don't want to do driving school. I have this unnaturally strong fear of driving. I hate it. If I was the only driver on the roads I'd be fine but...I'm scared to death of even sitting in the driver's seat. WHY?! I'm sick of it. I REALLY want to get over this fear. It's so paralyzing I get behind the wheel and forget which pedal is the BRAKE. I need serious help...but I can't ask my parents for help...they don't need to worry about this. Help meeeee......

^^^^^How I feel I drive^^^^^^

*sigh* I'm such a Lovesick Puppy 8/4/2012

I have recently realized...I like Dating Sims and Digital Novels. I know they have another name but I can only think of this one. *sigh* I got a Maker of sorts and am doing my own Fantasy Sim. WHY NOT?! It will be based around these 3 or 4 guys who each have a special ability that makes them totally unique and you get to choose who to fall for. I am blushing right now. This, however, means I have to learn to draw people. I HATE drawing people because they ALWAYS end up with bean-shaped heads. HAVE MERCY ON ME, DRAWING SKILLS. Well, time to go write their descriptions. MAYBE I'll link you to it when it's done...maybe.

My friend did come over today. It went well. Yeah...let's go with that...

Someday, I'll take my husband here and we'll kiss under these lights. 

All Day in a Brick Chair 8/3/2012

Ok, ok it wasn't actually made of brick but MAN IT FELT LIKE IT. These auditorium seats were hard as freakin' rocks. And we sat there...FOR HOURS. It was for a religious gathering but STILL. The seats are cushioned but are hard as bricks. I recorded the whole thing to listen to it in the absolute comfort of my bed. I like to listen to stuff there. My friend is coming over tomorrow. Somehow I'm not looking foreward to it...maybe it will be ok?

Well, this was a short post...BYE!

DAH SHORTNESS 8/2/2012

(HAIR CUT YESTERDAY) I got my hair...cut so short. I got 12 inches off and donated them to Locks of Love. I have always wanted to do this and finally had enough hair to do it and I went for it. My new hairstyle is short but I LOVE IT. It's like...I finally found something that fits me. I was always hiding behind my hair for the longest time and now that I surpassed it, I am on my way to a new me. My friend that took me to Cedar Point is coming over Saturday. I hope she keeps her jaw clenched and my brother steers clear.

Brother has been a total jerk today. I don't know why but he's been really short fused and bitey. And his words hurt...My mom is taking us to a religious thing tomorrow and Sunday and then another next Saturday. I mean I'm not against it it's just been I've been away for so long I don't know what to expect. I hope that someday I can be accepted into the group again. I feel so left out and it's my fault really. Well, I have to go sleep (THAT MEANS PLAY MY NEW DS GAME TIL 1 IN THE MORNING [it's Glory of Heracles]).

My friend drew a bunny. I made it 20% cooler.