About the Blogger

This blog belongs to a 17 year old girl living in the United States. She has many self-diagnosed problems that send her into tailspins quite often. This includes clinical lycanthropy, depression, possible bipolar, mild sociophobia and severe driving anxiety. Despite her friends, she feels alone. She hates things about herself, yes, but this is why she started the blog. She felt as if she could better express herself through the Internet and being anonymous. This is all she wants you to know about herself in general as to stay anonymous to her friends who may run across this blog. Please understand. If you recognize her, please don't say anything. This is her only possible outlet. She has kept your secrets...please just keep this one.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

No Power! 10/30/2012

Of course, we have to live in the area with 50,000+ power outages. I just can't win, can I? Well, I realize I haven't posted in a while. Its kind of tough to post when the internet turns off at 9 and I cannot let my parents read over my shoulder anymore. They still do, needless to say. I hate it when they do that. Its like their are either so bored they just want to read what I write or they don't trust me enough. Whatever the case, the whole family is sitting in Panera Bread using their power and wifi while our house remains in total darkness. That's mostly why I'm posting so early. I don't know if I'll be able to post anything at all tonight. Its a big disappointment but what are you gonna do? Nothing you can do. Since its not too late in the day, I have nothing huge to report. I can assure the internet that I will stay safe through all of Sandy. I promise. As soon as things ease up and we get power back, I'll post more often.


Wednesday, October 24, 2012

You Can't Stop Me 10/24/2012

The art academy will be difficult to get to tomorrow as many streets in the city are closing for a stupid reason. DARN YOU! My mom says it might be too difficult to get to by car so she might not pick me up after it ends which means I can't go. I say I'm going because stuff like this is too important to miss. I would walk there if I had to! Seriously, she can't think that little of me that she would cut off my free Photoshop on the day the teacher introduces the pens to go with our tablets. THIS is something I am totally unwilling to miss. That's it for my rage, I guess. The rest is actually pretty happy.

Since I got my english required reading book today I can finally clear out all these overdue lessons I've had sitting about for quite some time. All I have to do is a project and the rest should just flow off easily. Well, as far as I can tell one of the characters is mentally deficient and the other is a real ass. That's just chapter one so I can only imagine the boring reading I'll be poking down my throat like dry chicken. To quote Sheogorath the Daedric Prince of Madness "Do you mind? I'm doin' the fishstick! Its a very delicate state of mind!" SEE? That didn't even make sense! I need to go to bed. Night dudes.

In celebration of Korra's awesomeness...have three gifs today.



Tuesday, October 23, 2012

When does the ACTION begin? 10/23/2012

I am up...this late at night...working on a school project that was due today. I know, its bad to put things off and its not good at all to be late but she dropped the due date on us last minute and I scrambled to finish it. I just need to solve one more equation and I can bag and tag this sucker. I'm a major procrastinator if you can't already tell. I am also late in my English class as I just received the book I'm supposed to finish my Friday today. It's probably one of those dry, old books that puts you to sleep. Its "Of Mice and Men". IT even sounds boring. I was hoping it was a twisted tale of experiments on mice and humans but nope, its about two dude farmers who may or may not have a thing for each other. Let's just get this over with.

On another note, my brother really knows how to piss our family members off. All he does is disagree, insult what you like and poke fun at you until you explode on him and he either laughs or acts like he did nothing wrong. He's a spoiled little brat who need to have his lips stapled shut to prevent him from tearing our hearts and minds to pieces. Seriously, grow up. Are you that stupid and so mainstream that being mean and cruel is our only form of entertainment? That's called...BULLYING.

Today in the art academy class we went over more Photoshop basics! BORING. I know how to use this up and down and I've only used it for a whole 4 hours total. It has a lot of the same features as GIMP so I have to say I'm a bit ahead of the curve right now. Now I have to wait for my totally not artistic classmates to catch up with me and my one friend who doesn't know what she is doing herself I think. She just has this feel about her that she desperately wants to know what she's doing and be better than everyone around her. Newsflash, that's not how you get ahead in life.

I am dead tired, bros. Good night. I really have nothing more to report.


Monday, October 22, 2012

Warblargbefuddle 10/22/2012

Ok, an update on the whole funeral scenario that had haunted me all day. We didn't go. Do you want to know why? Despite your answer I will tell you. People are so freaking judgmental that my mother decided not to go as not to be looked down upon by idiot relatives. She insisted that she didn't know the relative who passed very well anyways but I know that deep down she didn't want to get hurt anymore.

Her side of the family has so many issues. One of my uncles is a theif and liar, an aunt of mine is being a leech and her son is a bastard who needs to be put in prison for the rest of his life and evidently, the relative who died had an adopted son who totally screwed up himself and his parents. Being a drug addict and a 'robber', he caused his adoptive parents to sell their house to send him to rehab. When the mother got sick and the husband had passed away the son stole everything from her, sold her house and parked her in a nursing home. He then left his family to go to Florida with his alchoholic birth mother. WHAT A SCREWBALL.

I also seem to have no clean clothes to wear tomorrow so I sneakily snuck downstairs and popped in my whites and am waiting for the dryer buzzer to go off for the towel load my mom had going so I can go switch it. I hpoe I finish without being noticed tonight. I'm REALLY not up for a lecture on the way to school tomorrow. Seriously, I'm not. Also, I have to remember to bring my grades in tomorrow to the art academy or I'll get kicked out. No way I'm letting that happen.

I also got my hair cut again. It was getting long so I had it snip-snipped and now its amazingly short again. Ah wonderfully short hair. Well, I'm tired after a busy day. Goodnight Internet!

P.S. I don't know why but my posts have been rather long lately. Maybe they'll stay long so you can read more. Taa-taa!


Sunday, October 21, 2012

No NORMAL Family 10/21/2012

Ok, so you know the phrase "You shake everyone's family trees and a few nuts are bound to fall out"? When our family tree was shaken, all but my parents and us kids (me and brother) were NOT completely screwed up. My aunt sent us photos of our Grandparent's house on the inside...and it looks like a garbage dump pushed into a single house. Its gross, dirty and probably not safe for even a roach to live in. My grandparents from one side are crazy as it is. Hell, I can't even consider then Grandparents! The grandfather bought me dolls (I HAVE ALWAYS AND ALWAYS WILL HATE DOLLS). I have never, in my entire life, played with a doll. They are way too girly for my tastes. And yet, he bought me three.

 For years they sat on my old dresser as painful reminders of how little he cared about us. Last year, I threw them away. I din't need them. That one side of grandparents have had no influence on my life. I have met that grandmother twice in my 16 years of life and the only reason I don't count the first is because I was still crapping my pants and barfing on myself. Seriously, if you want to show you care, at least visit us once every so often. She never even wanted to meet me the second time which was this past Summer. It was complete and utter chance we saw one another. I don't hate them I just don't want anything to do with them. They have cause me and my parents FAR too much pain to ever want to have a relationship with them.

We're going to continue on the topic of family for now. Tomorrow, I'm going to a funeral of a woman I have never met. My mother's aunt (or maybe it was great-aunt...). I have never met her in my entire life. I didn't even know who she was until my mom told us we were going tomorrow. I was surprised and a bit confused but whatever, lets just go and get it over with. I hope its not too awkward. Wish me luck!


Saturday, October 20, 2012

Biggest Post in AGES! 10/21/2012

Since I haven't updated in the three shakes of a lambs tail that I promised I would a while back (I said I would post more often...I evidently lied!). I have a big update for everyone. First of all, this is going to be a bit of a sadder post. For one thing, the college I eventually want to go into requires GPAs that I have not and probably won't ever have. I am so depressed about that. I have a 2.3 (I think) and you need a 3.0 to apply and the past grades I have not met their criteria. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. I can't tell my parents because they would probably be pissed beyond belief that I disappointed them. I couldn't handle that. I just...wouldn't. I would break and then...what would there be to make me stay?

Another BIG thing is that my brother has been keeping a huge secret from my parents and I. Before you flip, my parents know now. He says and insists (through texts, mind you) that he loves this girl who lives in the same state as us about an hour from here. I, personally, think its a load of horse crap and he should stop being such a big princess about it and man up. He should have told our parents face to face but they had to find out by taking his phone. They almost had to live up to his "out of my cold, dead hands" remark he clutched that stupid thing so bad. They read it and I was stunned. I can not BELIEVE he would do that. He's 14! 14!!!!!! That's way to young for any true love or relationship. I think he needs to consider this in a realistic light which I think he is not mature enough to do.

One final thing which ends up being two things. One, I have a cold that makes me want to lay in bed all day and use up boxes of tissue at a time. I feel like crap scraped off of the shoe of a man who rode in every taxicab in New York in a single day. Its that bad. To add to my problems my depression is back and is making things generally more difficult. I find myself unwilling and unhappy even though I fake a smile to nearly everyone I know. What's the point of faking everything anymore? I hate being so...normal. I had a dream that I did something important in my life someday. Maybe I will. I just have this burning impression on my very soul and being that I am meant for something greater than I am now. What is it...? I'm so confused.

Well, now that you're in information overload, I should say goodnight! GOODNIGHT!
.....I need happiness (sadface)


Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Sickness... 10/17/2012

Guess what...I'm sick. I have some sort or cold or flu beause I am endlessly tired, my throat is sore and I am sooo dizzy. I should probably be resting right now but I am talking to you all. You beeter be thankful (haha). I went to school anyways cuz my parents are strict and really tight and I just said whatever and gagged my way to school. I feel like crap. I'm going to bed. I can't even remember what I did today...