Destiny work in Mysterious Ways 9/27/2012

I honestly have nothing new to talk about! Really, I don't. My story is making wonderful progress and I plan to get it done by this next coming Summer (YAY!) and then about halfway through I'll look ino how one goes about getting something published. How does that sound? I'm currently working on the map of the world so things should be going quicker once its finished. Wish me luck!

-WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN-

Falling Down 9/25/2012

I seem to be falling into another one of my deep and dark (and random) depression cycles. I know that it will pass but it doesn't stop it from happening. They seem to be a little more predictable now. Whenever something comes up about my weight or activity levels a dark cloud haunts me. I need a good storm to calm down. They SAY we'll have one tomorrow but they said that about today as well. I want thunder and lightning and I want to power to go out. I was the sky to be alive with noise and light. I am so disappointed in these past few months. The heat was really starting to get both on my nerves and into my head. I hate hot weather and would trade sweat for shivers any day. I plan not to wear a coat all winter no matter how cold or snowy it get. To help cheer myself up, I put two picture below today. Have a good night.

I know, I know 9/20/2012

Missed me, didn't you? Things have been WAY too tough where I am right now so I haven't been able to post often :P Just saying, things have been happening like crazy. I'll start with what I remember being the most important thing. For one thing, I've decided what my next cosplay will be. It will be a Cheshire cat. I plan to make a super long scarf and tail, white dress shirt, blue vest and black dressy pants. The color style will be black and strong blue. Other than that it's really simple. I'm going back on a diet since I need to lose all this ugly weight keeping me down. I need to grow up and accept that I need to change to be seen as normal in this damn country (first swear in the blog...feels good). America is a country of freaks, in my opinion. We are 1/3 fat and yet the twigs are the most relentless to us. I hate twigs. Back on track.

I've made a huge decision. I will probably never ever drive. Ever. I have such a great fear of it that I am training my body to be accustomed to bike seats and leg work so I can both ride bikes and take busses for the rest of my life. Yet another reason to lose weight. I'm going on this crash diet to get immediate results and am taking fitness and am trying to get my endurance up. I will not spend my life as a drone. I won't fall into that 'drive to work-go home-sleep-repeat' drone cycle that nearly every human has. WHY? Why become just like everyone else when you could change things? Why stay low? Why be normal? Stereotypes can kiss my butt.

To Mean People 9/9/2012

Go die in a deep hole. If you hurt people, kill people, steal from people, make people cry in sadness, people who break things that mean something, people who judge others, people who are selfish, people who are conceded, people who bully, people who rape, people who steal lives and anyone else who does anything that causes pain. GO DIE IN A FREAKING HOLE. Go rot somewhere where nobody will ever find you. If you hurt someone, go die. Politicians are just as bad. Thanks for making this whole planet a living Hell.

So Depressed 9/8/2012

I don't even know why I try sometimes with everyone and everything. I'm not some sort of EMOTIONAL DUMPING GROUND. I have my OWN issues to worry about. Sometimes, I don't CARE. I'm not here for the sole purpose of cheering you up every time you say you need a hug. Yeah, I ask for a hug every once and a while but texting me EVERY HOUR of EVERY DAY?! I need a break from the drama. I thought moving would be an escape but it only tripled my problems. Yeah, you have issues with your family but they aren't mine so stop making them mine.

On another depressed note, my mom almost made me drive today. I will avoid it if at all possible. I hate driving. I never want to drive but society thinks your retarded if you can't so whatever. What if I want to walk or take the bus in my life? Why do I need to know how to drive? I don't see what the big deal is. Can't I be grown up and adult without my license? Forget this world. Forget everything. I'm going to bed. Just freakin' leave me alone while I wait for another painful and pointless day.

THE STRESS IS BACK 9/6/2012

Jusy when I thought I was in the clear my driving instructor calls to schedule the behind the wheels. Noooo....I'm back to the constant fear that my mom will make me drive. What's up with the freakish fear of driving?! I need to get over it and yet when I sit behind the wheel I even forget what the brake is...I have a serious problem. I need help...I'm keeping it short because I'm going to bed...I'll just go shed tears of shame...

Day One of School 9/4/2012

Day one of my new school was...confusing and frustrating to say the least. I have no idea what is going on with classes, no laptop as UPS is retarded and lazy and some of the online books and videos won't work. WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?! UPS, if you want us to get a package ring the doorbell or knock when it arrives. Don't be completely retarded and just leave a note. Thanks to you, my education is being set back because you're too flipping lazy to knock on a door or press a button. I hope you couldn't find our house at first and drove around the city wasting gas. Flip off until your not too lazy to give us a call. Have a wonderful cushy life.

Forget Him... 9/3/2012

Today we went shopping for school clothes. I must admit its quite unpleasant but now it is way more because the new school we're attending has uniforms. WHAT THE HECK? I can see how you can argue on both sides of the pro and anti sides of uniforms but its too much of an adjustment for me right now. Whatever, it doesn't matter now. Let's just buy some underwear and uniforms and be DONE with the who flipping ordeal. Whatever...

And my brother is acting like a selfish screwup again. In an attempt to keep me from taking his chair when were were in the kitchen, HE CARRIED IT OUT OF THE ROOM WITH HIM AND SET IT DOWN WHEN HE GOT BACK. What a messup. Why can't he just grow up and choose something important to fight about. Why should I listen to ANYTHING he has to say? Why listen at all? Ok, then  I won't. Until further notice, I won't even acknowledge him. Forget him. I don't NEED anything he has to offer, if that IS anything at all.