At 17 years old, I have had my first "HOLY CRAP" realization. Not like the basic "HOLY CRAP I FORGOT TO TURN IN ____" like the explosive "HOLY CRAP...IF ___ THEN ___ AND ___...!" I was just laying in bed playing my Rhythm Heaven DS game when it hit me when I looked at my ceiling. I thought "Oh my God...someday sooner than later I'm going to look up at my ceiling and I'll be totally alone under one roof. I'll be all by myself in my future home...and that'll be it..." Its been on my mind for a long while that my life has slowly been slipping away from me. Adulthood is nipping at my heels and even though I know its the fate of everyone...it still makes me feel like garbage. I don't WANT to just melt into society! I don't want to end up being a nobody of society waking up, going to work, going home and to bed and then just repeating that every single day. It would kill me. It would literally kill me. I could never live like that. EVER.
My parents already know about this whole thing and I've decided this far in advance that for this reason I won't be getting a Summer job to better dedicate my time to my family. I mean...this is my last Summer before college. I will NOT waste it in some crummy job somewhere. I love my family too much. I guess...I'll get one after that summer then. Wish me luck. I...really need it. The future has officially scared the living hell out of me.
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