Venting About Myself 2/7/2013

Well, it seems we have a lot to catch up on, my lovelies. The new permanent principal for our school started a day or two ago. Besides bringing muffins, I am still especially suspicious of her. We had a demon before and I'm not about to let someone new into my heart. She better not take it personally. It's just the way I am. Today we stayed home and even though I said I'd get everything done for school I didn't even log on. I feel so stupid and I'm expecting to get talked to tomorrow. I am so behind already and I'm dropping into one of my depressed periods again. Sucks to be me right now.

In other news, my mom started a blog. It's getting harder and harder to keep this one a secret. It's killing me. I will never tell her about this. Ever. This is MY world and MY secret. This is a place where I can freely speak and not worry about being judged or punished for m actions. I won't subscribe to her blog either. If she has my account, she'll look to my profile. If she goes to my profile, she'll see this. Look, mom, I have my secrets. Trust me. There's things I won't even write on here.

I guess right now my biggest issue is loneliness. Again I am struck by the singleness...With Single Awareness Day quickly approaching, I'm seeing Valentines pop up all over the place and even though I don't technically celebrate it either way I still feel lonely in my little reality bubble. I know i'm not the only on in this same boat but it is still a very empty feeling. Then again, there's another issue that's far more pressing and far more sad. My weight. I'm severly overweight for my age and I give myself panic attacks and upset stomachs trying to make myself stop eating. I will be totally honest. If I could be anorexic, I would. If I could lose weight like an anorexic, I WOULD. I WOULD IN A MINUTE, NO...A SECOND. Why am I so...ugly?