Asked Out?! 12/12/2012

Ok, you read the title right...I think someones trying to ask me out. He asked if I was doing anything over the break and of course I said no since if I said yes I'd both disappointing him and be lying. Then he asked if I wanted to go see a movie sometime. Me, being the awkward never-asked-out person that i am said maybe but hinted towards yes. Now all I need to do is convince my overprotective and overly-negative parents that I can handle myself with someone of the opposite gender. I swear, its like they don't trust me at all. Saying you trust me doesn't matter if you don't. I'm just mad that they don't treat me like their daughter but like some rogue teenager who wants to run away at every opportune moment to be with another hormonally compromised teenager. Really, parents. You make my social life shrivel...

The Viewing 12/6/2012

To update you on the most recent events, I went to the viewing of my deceased principal last night. That's why I didn't post about it last night; because it was an hour drive from out house. I was so emotionally exhausted when we got home, I went to bed no questions asked. He looked...so different. Like they had a stranger in the coffin with makeup and costume to try and look like him. It was like someone was playing a sick joke and that he would sho up on Tuesday explaining some big emotional experiment and everything could go back to normal. But...nothing can go back to normal. I hate that fact. I'm the kind of person who enjoys some change but when it comes to this kind of thing it would be better if nothing changed at all. Tonight is the service. We can't go because my mom doesn't want to spend too much time in a church. I find that excuse thin and retarded. Nobody would listen to my anyways. Bye. I'm gonna go to sleep.

Tragedy and Grief 12/3/2012

There's a reason for my extended leave of writing. Two days ago, probably after by previous post, I got an awful text from my friend back in my home town. While I had been out...the principal of my school who had guided me and helped me and the other students so much had passed away suddenly of a heart attack. He had been a mentor and a light in the darkness for me and my brother. He was the one who showed us the school we go to now and got us enrolled. He gave us encouragement and happiness. To think that he was there...and then not...I don't think the weight of it has even hit me yet. It kills me to think that I won't have him in the school anymore. He was such a brilliant mind...I pray for his daughters, his wife and his remaining family. I am broken now and it had taken me so long to get my world into a single piece.

This, along with a few other enormous secrets, cut deep into my heart and has made anything happy impossible. To think that our vacation could be cut so short. I want everything to be alright...but i know that it will never be alright. Its a devastating thought. For my principal, I shall carry on giving strength to those who need it. Please, let his family be alright. Let me not be too lost. Let me have one...last...chance...

Eating and Swimming 11/29/2012

Seriously, the title says it all. We went swimming...twice...and eat at Chilis. Got a free doughnut at Sheetz and then called it a night at 9:30. I am now quite ready to go to bed. Short and sweet.

Vacation at Last! 11/29/2012

Is it still considered vacation if I'm only less than a 4 hour drive from my house? I count it like that. I needed a rest, a break, a BIT OF PEACE. Finally we get to be in a hotel for nearly two days straight *tears of joy*. Well, time to sleep. Wait...that would make it not a vacation but a nap-time ..SCREW IT, I'MMA ENJOY THIS VACATION! Short and sweet, buds. Love ya'll.

I am Not COMMUNIST 11/28/2012

I saw The Princess and the Frog in Saturday. I cried, like I usually do, but it was at the scene in Mama Odie's house where she shows Tiana her father in the gumbo. I just had a moment where I thought 'What would I do without my dad...?' I cried, missed 10 minutes of the movie and then fell asleep and let my laptop battery die. That was my Saturday.

I was in History today and everyone was chatting about government and popular beliefs (can you see where I'm going with this?). They were talking about Canada and how well their government was doing and how America should be more like Canada. This one kid asked why we can't have free Healthcare. I, stupidly, got involved with the comment QUOTE "Because Democracy prevents that at the moment. I just think Democracy isn't a save all." Then, all HELL broke loose. I started getting angry private chats accusing me of being a communist and got rejecting messages back in the MAIN chat. I was so confused I almost didn't reply. Me being me, I did. I said, copied and pasted for uniform replies "No, I'm not a communist but democracy isn't working." Then it only got worse. So upset and confused about the happening, I just left the chat room. Not worth being harassed for my beliefs. I mean, it has been in a constant downward spiral for a while now (the government). I do NOT believe the country is going to change. I don't We're too brainwashed.

On another note, I'm going downstate with my Dad and brother for a mini-trip! SO EXCITED! No mom, no in class work, no problems. I mean, the only thing I may miss is one of my art classes (which reminds me...I have to tell my friend she'll need to find a ride...we carpool). Anyways, I need a break. Seriously. I NEED A BREAK. I've been here in the same 20 miles for weeks now and I'm sick of it. I am so done with being in one place. I get antsy when I have to stay put for extended periods of time. I'll probably end up sitting in the hotel all that time (until Friday) but it will be so worthit. Pool and computer. That is ALL I NEED! I better get my work done today so I won't have too much to worry about. Take care, Internet. More quite soon.

A Small Update (or not) 11/26/2012

Hello, everyone. I hope my short hiatus didn't cause anyone to lose interest in the blog. I have been so busy I have had so little time for anything other than general health care and school work. My weekdays have been jam packed with my art classes, special help sessions and generalized school and chaos. My weekends have been about the same with my family feeling the need to consume hours and hours of time together even though they have nothing in mind. Such is the case with a week ago when my mom suggested me and her go out to shop and when we got 20 minutes out she asked me what I wanted to do. Naturally I had no idea...neither did she. We ended up going to two stores and then going home, only for me to work until 8 on a school project. Altogether, nothing has been going well.

I also...met someone special. For now and until further notice, he shall be known as Wolfy. Wolfy is such an amazing person and has brought so much sunshine in my dismal life I could never ever find the words to thank him properly. We're sweet with one another and I hope someday we could be...more than friends. Not THAT kind of thing but...something innocent but obvious. That makes no sense...Either way, he's such an amazing person I have no idea what I would do without him. We've exchanged some pics and...we are ok. Don't show him this, please. I'd blush till the end of time...also, if he doesn't feel the same way I don't know how I would react. Until I deem anything else worth sharing, this is me signing off. Bye everyone.

P.S. Who forgot to let me have some of the Nutella?