Why Him...? 7/31/2012

Today, my little brother got a new phone. I, however, got nothing and am stuck with a only partially working piece of crap from possibly 2005 or 2007 (as every site has a different year). WHY? Why do I get stuck with this crap heap while he gets a new one. I can't use the phone feature because I can't understand what people are saying because my phone cuts signal, I can take pictures because the object turns out a blob of colored pixels and texting has been iffy in that it refuses to connect to the network sometimes and I WON'T EVEN BE IN A DEADZONE. But of course, my angel of a little brother gets a brand new phone. We're two years apart but I see where the loyalty lies. He's a total brat and yet...yeah. Oh, that's not the end of our story. As soon as we got home and put away the groceries he plops down on the couch to watch the Olympics...ALL NIGHT. I cooked dinner, set the table, CLEARED the table and (with mom's help) cleaned the entire kitchen. Half of what I did was his job and he did nothing. He thinks he's too flippin' good for all of us. The last time he even HINTED he cares about me was weeks ago. The heck...

WELL! On another strange note I saw something weird today. We had to get gas before shopping so we were at the station, facing the sidewalk when this dude in a crappy white tank and blue jeans staggers past. Like, one of those stereotypical beer drinker shirts but he didn't have the belly. THAT is not the weird part. Even his fantastic Hitler stache wasn't the weird part. Gripped tightly in his right hand was a thin white pipe about 5 feet in length. In his left hand was a half-gone water bottle. He was holding them with his elbow bent and his upper arm tight on his sides. He just walked past in front of the station in a straight line, pale as a ghost and holding these items in his hands. He dissappeared and when we left 5 minutes later, we saw him waaay down the street. CREEPY RIGHT?

I didn't take this but COOL RIGHT?!

Signed up for the CON! 7/30/2012

FINALLY got my pre-reg in for the con I plan on attending August 24-26th. I'm going as Sen/Random-BathHouse-Worker from Spirited Away by Mr.Miyazaki. GET THIS. NOBOU UEMATSU IS GOING TO BE THERE. When I heard, I nearly crapped my PANTS. He is an amazing composer, THE GOD OF COMPOSITION. I write music like I want to be him. I aspire to write music even though the talent itself completely eludes me. I tried writing a piece for my sister/best-friend once but it never worked out. GRAHHH! I need another violinist to help me...I'm majorly disappointed the school I'm going into doesn't have an orchestra program but I guess I'll have to make do with what I can.

Today I did the scheduling for my classes. Everything is mostly basics but I am taking Japanese, Web Design and my dad signed me up for Entrepreneurship which i honestly don't want to do. I'll have to tell him sooner than later I guess. Otherwise the day was fine. Got up, played Minecraft, ate dinner and here I am after watching 20 minutes of Pawn Stars writing to everyone out there! Well, I'm really tired. Night!

NOTHING Happened Today 7/29/2012

Seriously...nothing happened. My dad brought me lunch fro Taco Bell, I sat at the computer and played Skyrim the remainder of the day. Ah, Dark Brotherhood...my only friends :') Nobody was on Skype or Facebook so I played Skyrim ALL DAY. I'm really bored and feel bad posting this because nothing happened. Currently watching "6 Days to Air:Making of South Park". Seems interesting enough.

So...here, have a seal.

Stealing a Car (JK GUYS!) 7/28/2012

Today was went to dinner at a LOVELY buffet a half hour from our house with our guests who are leaving tomorrow at a time I do not know. This place has killer sushi and sashimi, dumplings and sweet and sour chicken. I eat the sweet/sour chicken without the sauce...does that make me weird? Well, deal with it cuz I'm a weird person. HAVE MERCY ON ME! Haha. Then on the way back our guests had to check out a used car for their daughter but the place was closed. The car, however, was in another lot and we went to see it anyways. As we parked in front of it the dad got out and walked around it and check underneath. As he circled the car one more time, the CAR ALARM WENT OFF. We freaked out, it being dark and ion a not so good neighborhood (THE DAIRY QUEEN HAS BARS BEHIND THE GLASS TO PREVENT BREAK-INS AND ROBBERIES)

Guests...? Y U NO LEAVE 7/27/2012

Ok, I don't have anything against having people over but when they spend 99.9% of their visit talking about religion, I tend to get upset. I know its important and yes I do agree with what they say but you don't have to  talk to us like we aren't worshiping the same God. We are the same religion guys, you realize that right? Whatever. Rant over. The rest of my day was both beautiful and anticlimactic with one BIG announcement for my animation career. I'm doing a movie. No, I won't link it here. Sorry, but this is a private blog. Whatever. Nothing more to write. Time to sneak down the stairs without the guests noticing even though the rooms are DIRECTLY AND OPENLY CONNECTED. Wish me luck.

Co-sign...with Jesus? 7/25/2012

Today my driving instructor said the WEIRDEST thing i have ever heard. She said QUOTE "The only person I would EVER co-sign for a car with would be Jesus. He gets me heaven points." I was utterly shocked...and almost wet myself laughing into my hand. I mean SERIOUSLY?! I get the example but why Jesus? Whatever.

Today I got scared. Like, really scared. and I still am. My dad says because of my grades i may not be able to go to the school we all agreed on because I missed the first six weeks of the school year. I had a tumor and major surgery and missed those weeks for recovery. Then I got back and everyone expected me to fall right into place. I was completely lost and my grades really suffered. I hope I can go to this school. If I can't...I don't know what I'll do...I may end up resorting to something bad and big but I hope not. I am slowly losing my reasons to hold on...

So...You ALL Drink? 7/24/2012

Today in Drivers Ed...I got a look at what the kids are doing OUT of class. The teacher was talking about the negatives about drinking and using drugs and driving. She asked..."Who here has see someone drink?" Everyone kind of nodded. She then asked..."Who has been driven by someone who had been drinking?" Some people kind of nodded. THEN...stuff got real (no seriously). She asked..."Who here has drank before?" Me, being the goody-two-shoes that I am could say I haven't. Everyone else had this chillingly, scary aura around them. THEY...WERE...TERRIFIED. I was scared that someone would get up and start flipping out like 'NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS'. I was scared out of my mind.

Today, I told one of my good friends I am not going to the same high school this next school year. She took it remarkable better than I expected and said as long as we hang out we'll be fine. I thought she would be totally broken but maybe I was underestimating her. She was hurt but not destroyed...right now I'm telling another friend. I'll try to tell everyone separately if possible but I can't get to everyone. Well, wish me luck.

On another note, I'd like to take a second to comment on the Colorado massacre. I feel SO sorry for the families effected by the single insane shooter. That man should, honestly, get a special ring in H***. No-one should have to suffer like this. To the boyfriend who covered his girlfriend and died in the shooting and helped her survive...YOU ARE AN BEAUTIFUL PERSON. To the girlfriend, you chose right. I hope I get a boyfriend as amazing as that someday. To all the child victims, I wish you had more time. Please, families of victims and survivors, stay strong. Stay strong for everyone around you. You effect more people than yourself. You are ALL in my prayers.

This is my Keroro Backpack I got at a con last yeeaaarrrrr

Been So Long... 7/23/2012

Stuff has been really busy lately. Saturday was the theme park trip two that I had been waiting for. Unfortunately, it was less than dazzling. Much less actually. It shined like a turd in a basement. It was sucky because the person I went with didn't want to go on anything because the lines must have scared her and the whole time she was arguing with her mom at every oppertunity. REALLY?! You're going to fight like cats and dogs with a friend around?! GROW...UP! SERIOUSLY.

 Then, yesterday, me and my family had a falling out in deciding what sort of schooling I'll be doing. We fought, me and my dad had a really bad argument, nobody listened to anybody else and three out of four of us went to bed crying. Not a very productive "conversation" as my mother so lovingly called it. That was a verbal brawl. Today we all seemed to make up with each other and we found a schooling solution. It's a cool thing, really. Its a six hour a day solution that is semi-online and semi-in class. The only bad part is this means I have to tell all my friends I won't go to the other high school next year. It's going to kill everyone...I hope they'll be ok without me...

NOT Looking Forward to Saturday Night 7/19/2012

This Saturday afternoon...I'm telling my friend I moved. Until this point I had been holding back and keeping it from her with the naive hope that my parents would find a way to keep me in my old school system. They are now looking at the (CRAPPY) schools in the district and online school. I think its time I told her...and soon everyone else. I am so angry and scared about what everyone will say and do. It terrifies me. I...am scared of what will happen. I wish there was something I could do. My chest hurts...I'm having an anxiety attack...I'm going to go to bed and pray things change...

This is supposed to be a crumbling heart...

New Artist~! 7/18/2012

Today I found "Florence + the Machine". AMAZING! The music is so amazing. I put it right up on the level of Imogen Heap at the moment. Great drawing music if I do say so myself. I just got really depressed all of a sudden. I'm really and earnestly worried about my in-cars and the fate of my schooling next year. I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THIS CITY'S SCHOOLS. Its bad and the graduating rate sucks. I bet the teachers suck too. I bet everything sucks. I want online schooling. My mom treats it as me cutting myself off completely from the outside world. NO!! LET ME DO THIS! I won't curl up and die if I do school online. Just...give me a chance. Give me a choice for ONCE in my life. Let me choose for myself. I'm not 6 anymore. I'm not a child. Let me go. Please...let me fly...

I'M NO RACIST 7/16/2012

My first day of drivers ed was....awkward. I'm not racist but 99% of the class was black. I was kinda worried I wouldn't really be accepted. Nobody seemed to care about anybody else so I didn't feel so bad. Being the only chubby person, only white person, only person with glasses, only person not with an IPod or Iphone...yeah, see the awkwardness >.>? Look, I'm not racist. I told my mom what I just put down and she said I need to be less racist. Wouldn't you be awkward in this situation if you were me?! I feel like such an odd one out. I need to lose wight :P

Why me...? 7/15/2012

I missed yesterday because I was at the amusement park...but that's not why I'm so depressed. Yesterday, while I was out, my mother had to take my dog to the vet and have him put down. Apparently he had a mass growing on his spleen and it was bleeding, causing his chest to fill with blood and make him severely anemic. He would have not lasted another day he we not done that. But...she didn't tell me because I was out. She told me when i got home at 11:30 at night. I was...so upset. I didn't stop crying for quite a few hours and have spent today mourning and moping and not even bothering to change out of my pajamas. And to make things worse, I start drivers ed tomorrow. I'm so terrified and upset...why me? Why couldn't this not even happen?! WHY DID MY DOG HAVE TO DIE?! WHY DID MY LIFE HAVE TO TURN LIKE THIS? why me....tell me...

Oh, no! 7/13/2012

They say its going to rain tomorrow and my brother's friend's older brother is coming. For some reason, he repulses me. He seems to enjoy following his dirtbag mother to the gambling facilities which is an automatic negative on him. something about him just...doesn't seem trustworthy. Until he gives me fair reason to trust him, I won't. You may not know it, but I do not trust people easily.

Just Realized... 7/12/2012

I just realized that I've been posting every day since I started which though it wasn't that long is longer than i'm able to concentrate on most things in my life right now XD I both want tim eot speed up and to slow down. I was Saturday to come and then Monday to never come. I am honestly scared out of my mind for my driving courses. I don't know why i scares me so much...maybe its just that...meh... Well, that's it for today.

(This isn't mine...I just found it ^^^^^^)

Writing More/Theme Park on Saturday 7/11/2012

After watching the end of Fullmetal Alchemist again and the movie once more, I find myself further dissapointed and feel the need to write a sequel. I have to or I might just go nuts (haha). I might end up shipping my new character with Al though...because I'm just like that. I am going to a theme park out of state on Saturday but it says there's a high chance of rain so we might have to cancel. I'm surprisingly optimistic about the whole thing ^.^ Have faith, everyone! Well, better get going. I'm tired...

Another post XD 7/10/2012

Finished a bunch today. Going to the library tomorrow to get new stuff. I read like a maniac and go through books and maga. Two books and at least 10 manga a week. Like I said, I love reading. I have read almost every popular series there is. Hated Twighlight, read hunger Games befre they were awesome, Eragon got old, Warrior Cats got REALLY old, Inkheart got stretched and I dislike most other vampire books. I'm not into generic series mostly...I really hate negative people. The one who say only negative things whenever you talk to them. I understand you have a tough life but that's no reason to treat me like an amotional dumping ground >.> I'm compassionate but if you're just gonna dump I can't help you. Grow up people...

A Good Day 7/9/2012

Today I made tea without my coffee press. It cracked a few weeks ago and I've been without it for a while now. IT really made me happy to have a cup of jasmine tea then a good cup of Darjeeling. Ah, tea. My one ultimate weakness, among other things. Other than that, it's been awesome. Still nervous about my driving classes starting on the 16th but otherwise I'm ok. Doing more Minecraft skins now and am enjoying every second of it.

Finally Here 7/10/2012

I guess I have to do this now. I have to get out my word or I'll do something stupid. I have so many things in my life I would rather go without and some things I feel bad without. Sorry, I'm starting this off in complaints. My name is...unimportant...and I am currently 16 years old. I am slightly overweight and I let that rule my life. It's the center of my universe. I think about in everything I do, even if I don't want too. I have a few disorders, all self-diagnosed and all I am unable to tell my parents about. Clinical Lycanthropy, Bipolar, Depression and ADHD. It's pathetic, really. An artistic soul bound to a mortal earth like a bird in a cage who breaks her wings trying to be free.

Well, I'm writing as an outlet. I feel like I'll explode if I don't tell everything I worry about to someone. I take care of my friends...I just wish I took care of myself a bit more. For now, only one or two things at a time. The blog is semi-regular now and I hope that someday I'll get a follower to watch my write and relate to my conflicts. I hope that someday I'll be more than just a sunflower. I hope to be someone's beautiful sunflower that makes them smile. I hope to wear a lovely ring on my left hand someday. I hope I find love. I hope I live. I hope I find forever in the eyes of true believers. I hope to find the true Truth.

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